He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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