Pappa wants mamma naked
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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