but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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