In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
