I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
