me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
