I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
