Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Houston, we have a blender
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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