I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All the doctor said was why
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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