I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
