i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
