I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
