I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize