There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
