I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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