the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
smell my finger.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We are two peas in an std pod
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
