She's JV to your varsity
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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