Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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