Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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