dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
