Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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