Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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