I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
