SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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