i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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