The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
