you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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