If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
