hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize