She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
