bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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