AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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