wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
