She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
