you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
