I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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