I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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