Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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