You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
