I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
