Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
