I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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