i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
