Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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