i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
