You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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