I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
