Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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