'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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