? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
