THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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