Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
