Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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