I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
