Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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