Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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