Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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