just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
