yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
